hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
