ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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