:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
