this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
