Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
3pm strippers are depressing
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
