It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
