whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Everything about him screamed your future.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
