You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
