The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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