to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize