??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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