Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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