half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
