why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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