So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Randomize
