I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
