new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
