I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
