I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
