It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
