Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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