Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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