yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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