yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
