There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
