i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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