FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i think i have herpe
just one?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
