Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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