if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
