i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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