I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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