Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
