So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
