you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
