I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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