My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
