I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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