Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize