a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
