I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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