If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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