hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
