i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize