Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
