Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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