i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
