found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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