I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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