Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
