I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
