apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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