Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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