Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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