do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
