I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
