We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
