Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
