she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
