My room smells like vodka and shame
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
