she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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