I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
