Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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