I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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