im drinking this country out of the recession.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
