If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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