ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
