My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
jump out the window naked night went bad
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
