She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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