He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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