Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
