Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
