We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize