I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm both gender and math confused
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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