Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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