Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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