YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
